May 28, 2012

It's not just an event

When you talk about weddings, I have observed that everything is being discussed, right from the detailing on the shoe to the thali in which the mother of the bride performs aarti while welcoming the groom. Very little is being talked about how a girl should be ready for what I must say a biggest change in her life. Change here need not be misjudged as a negativity a girl has to go through. It is something very exquisite which transforms a delicate girl into a strong woman. Hence even before you start planning your wedding, I would advice you to ensure that the bigger picture of your life is in place. If your foundation is intact, no matter how many hurdles (Oh yes! There will be some) you will have to face in months to come, will not disrupt your perfect day.

I am trying hard not to sound like a philosopher, but I truly believe the best d├ęcor you can get is when the venue is filled with happiness. The best make up you can put on is with a natural blush on the brides face. You ought to look pretty to the one who loves you, even if you are not dressed in the latest bridal collection of an A list designer. You need not have 200 items on your menu to make your guest feel special, just greet them with your warmth and nobody will be left dissatisfied. Just a genuine smile on the grooms face will give a feeling of content to the parents of the bride. A few special moments during the wedding with your MIL (as it is her special day too!), will make her feel closer to you.
You will effortlessly be able to achieve the above by choosing the right guy and the right family. In every marriage you have a choice of deciding how you want it to be. I do not feel you should have a subdued wedding and feed Ethiopian children instead of a mob who you barely know. Of course you should help the much needed, but you can (rather should) do that throughout your lifetime. Keep this one day of your life just for yourself. You will feel the excitement for your wedding only when you have the right one next to you, with whom you want to spend the rest of your life. So have a wedding which makes everybody happy. Weddings are going to be beautiful however they are arranged. So what’s the point in hiring a Mercedes for your viddai which does not belong to you? If you feel I am against people having a grand wedding, you are wrong. But the fact that people take up hefty loans to have such materialistic satisfactions is beyond my understanding. You should know where to stop.
Like the real estate bubble in USA in 2009, we might have to blame weddings in years to come. This is a huge industry which operates only by increasing human aspirations to materialistic unimportant aspects of the wedding. You should safeguard yourself from such temptations. Ultimately, what matters the most is the happiness of your family and the person you are going to marry. That aunty you were trying to impress by hiring the most expensive decorator in town is not going to remember your wedding after a few days, but your parents might have to bear the brunt of it probably for their lifetime. Dreaming about an unrealistic set up beyond your reach will only draw disappointment (Yes, even after getting your Big Fat Indian Wedding: You or your father will have to pay some day or the other for the lehenga you instantly fell in love with right?). Plus no matter how much you spend, you will always want more!
So does this mean you should not have a fun wedding? Of course you should have a blast just the way you dreamt of! That’s exactly how this blog is going to help you. Only stop putting a tag on to everything. Start building up a relationship with your family and your special one. All the little details like the colour of the flower bouquet and the detailing on the head gear can be taken care of easily and is meaningless if the most important bond which gives you the reason of becoming a bride is not as strong as required. It is aptly titled by Aamir Khan for the Satyameva Jayate blog: “It's your entire life — not just an event”


  1. What an absolutely beautifully written post! I will definitely share this with my whole family. Thanks!

  2. Somehow I stumbled upon this post of yours .. and I truly agree with it. We spend a big chunk of time focussing on details which we don't even remember after the wedding ..

    I did a lot of research about mandap decoration and was very particular about how the decor should look like. But now when I think about the wedding or look at the pictures, I am least concerned about the floral arrangements. Rather the fact that I was surrounded by the most special people in my life makes me smile ..

    1. Same happened to me. I was so filled with joy on my wedding day that I barely noticed the decoration!

  3. beautifully written.....and so apt.....


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  6. Thanks for the greatfull post.
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