This is when your adorable mom and dad (even those who never think twice to fulfill any unreasonable demands of their kids) will turn into something as stringent as the harshest warden you had in your hostel. They are ready to compromise on anything but not the guests. I dint have to convince my parents even a bit when I told them that I want to spend the rest of my life with this boy. I can choose a person who I marry into but can have no say when deciding who gets to attend that marriage. Every session of compiling a guest list would end up into an argument or disappointment. I hope this post helps you to reduce the drama in your house.
My parents are excited but not as crazy as I am to create a wedding guest list 2 years before the marriage was announced. :P I had a list ready and knew that there are 350 genuinely close (not only important to me but also to my parents) people who should attend the wedding. When we started compiling the list together, the numbers shoot up out of proportion. They had a story for each member elucidating why he/she is so important to us. This had no end.
What did I do?
· With my wedding research in place; I knew a guest list should be in place before you book your wedding venue. My poor parents just had a rough figure which I fed their heads. I took them to the perfect venue me and my boy loved and was sure they would not disappoint us. They too fell for the venue. My strategy was to choose a venue which cannot withstand an exorbitant crowd. Automatically my parents will now have to limit their invitees.
· I reminded them of weddings they weren’t invited to (This was too difficult – I just got 1 or 2 weddings of distant relatives) and asked them did it spoil your equation with the family. The answer was always – "No coz we understand" and "We were also not too keen to attend". There comes my million dollar dialogue – “That is exactly what I don’t want: Invite people I have never seen, people who you see only in weddings, your close relatives’ relative! This has to stop somewhere.”
· This dint work but I told them you blame it on me by saying I wanted a small wedding. I am ready to bear the brunt. They said they are not inviting people because they HAVE to but because they WANT to!
· Finally, I gave them full authority and they made sensible decisions. I am sure the list has exceeded my approximation, nevertheless ignorance is bliss. Plus, I want to see everybody (most importantly my parents) happy. If inviting my fathers’ cousins’ husbands’ sisters’ in-laws makes my mom happy then so be it! After all it’s their special day too.
I can so relate to this! Eventually I also had to give in to their demands, because like you said - it's their special day too!
ReplyDeleteYeah!! I realized that's the least you can do (not crib) for all that they have ever done for you.
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