April 2, 2014

Reader Query: Meet the Parents

The first baby step towards the big event is when you "Meet the parents". It is the first impression on a family that is going to be your family for the rest of your life. Of course you will be nervous coz you will be scanned from head-to-toe. I'm not going to make this a generic post by asking you to be yourself. I hope that is what you know already. Let's get into the specifics.

What to wear: I have seen girls worrying about whether wearing sleeveless kurta on the first meeting is too much and then cribbing about not getting to wear their LBD's post marriage. I'm nowhere suggesting you to go meet them in your party clothes but you may wear what you are comfortable wearing in front of "your" parents/family.
Best: Try fixing up a meeting immediately after office hours so no one is judgemental.
Cultural difference: There ought to be cultural differences even within your families. For eg: In my extended-family, "pair-choona" (touching all elders feet to pay respect) is normal even if you are going to the neighbouring town. In MY house, we only do it on big occasions like Diwali, etc. At my in-laws', they never do this.
What we did: On our "parents meet", only I did the "pair choona". The guy was just gazing like he belong to some other planet who is totally unaware of the custom. His family got so awkward coz my parents made me do this.

Best: If you are meeting alone, ask your fiancé about the trend at your in laws. If not possible to ask, just do it while leaving. If you are meeting with your parents, you just have to follow the suit as it is usually them who do the talking while you are busy communicating in your sign language. ;)
The biggest DON'T: Do not give strong opinions. Of course you should voice your view, but first meeting is not the right time. Just smile - even if you always wanted to have a destination wedding & your in-laws are planning to book that hall where their nephew got married. You can definitely deal with it later. At the same time, do not over commit. Don't say it's the best hall in town just coz you wanted to be nice to them. Stick to a generic chat. Sometimes, no reaction is the best reaction.
Lastly, Do not over think & Relax - Everybody in the room will be going through the same feeling as yours. Just like you, they also, want to have a good first impression (even if some people pretend like it's not a big deal)
PS: Thank you Anuja for the repetitive comments which made me move my a** and start writing again. I owe it to you! ;)


  1. nice post... we are looking for a boy for my SIL, she is little heavy and deciding on right clothes is must for her.. People for sure judge other by their clothes.

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  2. Love the way u write...u cover most points n explain them so easily :)


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