March 26, 2013

The tale of two Engagements

Both Engagement rings by Waman Hari Pethe



If you are following the blog since a long time, I am sure by now you know how much wedding crazy I am! I mentioned about how I had planned my wedding date in this post. In fact, I had also planned my engagement date. All this planning wasn’t fruitful coz you know how in Indian weddings, the calendar, the sun and the moon plays an important role in deciding auspicious dates. However, me being obsessed with dates, I wanted it to be special in some or the other way. So we finalized on "Kojaagiri pournima". For those who don’t know - It is a full moon day marking the end of monsoon season. The moon looks very pretty on this night. When we shared this date with my in-laws, we got to know that my parents-in-law got engaged on the same full moon night. So without any second thoughts 29th October 2012 was frozen! The hotel got booked, the cake, pandit, photographers, videographers, every minutest detail was planned and taken care of. And the invitations were sent!

4 days before the E-day, my mother called to tell me that one of my first cousins was blessed with a baby boy. That moment, I was elated and well umm confused. Confused over why I was confused? Well I knew the old tradition of family members not allowed to touch god for 10 days if there is a birth/death in the family. So technically, my parents were not allowed to perform the rituals. I somehow wished my parents dont take it too seriously (Coz I know they only follow things their heart allows them to!). But this time it was their daughter's first wedding ritual and hence they decided to stick to the family protocol. There were talks amongst the elders if somebody else could fill in place of my parents. My mother like a baby said to my father "I don’t care how much money will be wasted, but I want us to perform the rituals for our daughter". My father couldn’t dare to disagree after this emotionally overpowering statement!

After a lot of thought, we decided to just exchange rings on planned E-day without any poojas. Luckily, we had invited the guests such that they were to arrive only after the rituals are over. So there was no change in plans for the rest of the crowd. Traditional maharashtrian engagements do not involve rings exchange ceremony. Yes! Neither of my grandma’s even have an engagement ring. So we decided to keep the 2nd engagement in sync with our old customs. Plus, c’mon how would an engagement party look without us wearing rings?!?

Now the parents of a “date crazy bride” had another task of choosing a meaningful date for the 2nd engagement. That too well within 15 days of the 1st engagement as there was a wedding in the groom’s family soon after that. To our surprise, we got to perform the rituals on one of the best 31/2 muhurat’s in a maharashtrian calendar – “Padva” or “Maharashtrian New Year”.

I have heard of so many goof-ups, chaotic situations, cancellations, reschedules during a wedding event! Never seen a one which happened coz of a good news! ;)

Things to remember:
We decided our E-day date considering my bhabi's delivery date. Even after our meticulous planning, we went through so all this. We should understand that such things happen and are beyond anybody’s control. The more you stress, the more things will mess up. Crowd will only make things difficult while making crucial decisions. Each one has a different opinion. And most importantly, I don’t believe I am saying this don’t be so fussy about wedding dates. It barely matters to me now! All I remember of the engagement is that moment when we exchanged rings!

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